Teaching children to cope with bullying There is a range of counselling skills and strategies which can enhance a victim of bullying's ability to cope and stop the cycle of bullying.

Conflict resolution skills are one of the more effective counselling techniques and interventions a counsellor can apply in an effort to reduce victimisation.

Conflict resolution aims to create a win-win situation for everyone involved. By shifting attention away from those involved and onto the problem, creative problem solving can happen.

Teaching a child early on the skills of conflict resolution will empower, prepare and support students to deal successfully with conflict situations at school, at home and in later life. The range of conflict resolution skills also includes effective listening, negotiation skills, assertiveness skills training, problem solving and reflecting skills.

Conflict resolution skills are adaptable as they can be taught on an individual or group basis. More effectively they can be introduced, developed and reinforced as ongoing components of the all-curriculum areas.

Anti-bullying programs or a critically focused curriculum, which is informed by understandings of the role of power in relationships, can expand opportunities for all groups to explore their personal and social needs within a climate of respect and valuing of difference.

How to teach a child conflict resolution skills

Discuss and assess their communication style (i.e. passive, assertive or aggressive).  Pitch your language according to the child's age and developmental stage.

Explain the importance to them of being able to stand up for themselves and that conflict resolution skills will assist them in reducing the incidence and effect of the bullying.

Discuss, role-play and teach assertive communication techniques.  Below are the skills relevant to assertive communication.

It is important that to assist a child's understanding by utilising other therapy techniques such as play therapy, sand tray, role play and drawing to facilitate self-expression.

The use of "I" statements can be positive and powerful.  Teaching a child to be able to say "I don't like it when..." can be useful.

Check the level of a child's self esteem by asking them questions about "how they see themselves"; "what's good and not so good about themselves?"

It is important that children have a positive self-concept and self-worth in order to confidently apply conflict resolution skills. Confidence building strategies may, therefore, form part of the intervention package for developing conflict resolution skills in children.

Encourage children to speak about their feelings openly and not to withdraw or retreat as this may exacerbate feelings of sadness and isolation. Below are a series of questions you can use to teach a child how to effectively manage their feelings:

Questions to ask when you are angry, hurt, or frightened

Goals in communicating emotions:

References

Morrison, B. (2002), Bullying and Victimisation. Retrieved on 7 October, 2007 from http://www.aic.gov.au/publications.

Source

www.counsellingacademy.com.au

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